You want me to be arsed to care, to look at this objectively and with a ~brave heart that still loves Morning Musume after all this time…I JUST CAN’T.
When I re-listen to this it occurs to me that maybe I’ve taken a few too many pages out of Luke’s guidebook. Except less skeevy. Maybe. I do end with AKB48 in bikinis.
Yup, you’ll have to put up with my Muse obsession just a wee bit longer. The good news is, I’ve found a way to tie it into H!P. What!? How can this be? Epic mash-up of ‘Independent Girl～独立女子であるために’ and ‘Bliss’? Although I think that might actually work, sadly, no. I don’t have those skills. But what I am going to do is compare and contrast my two favorite trios – possibly my two favorite acts in all of music right now. (No, Alessandro Cortini, I haven’t forgotten about you…I’m just enjoying your random tweets and also your Twitter updates <—see what I did there?)
It all really started with the performance of ‘We are Buono! ~Buono no Theme~’ in which they donned very extended costumes consisting of musical instruments. Now, they’d done this before. Trust me, I jizzed in my pants when the FC DVD featured Buono! trying their tiny little hands at musical instruments to varying degrees of success/failure. This was just too great, though…
OKAY FIRST OF ALL THEY ENTER THE STAGE TO ‘Ride of the Valkyries’, which is just as epic and just as fitting as Muse entering Wembley to ‘Dance of the Knights’ from Romeo and Juliet. A parallel can be drawn, right there.
Then, they proceed to not even attempt to play their instruments. It’s so cute. However, the song does rock my world, and it does establish that Airi = guitar, Miyabi = bass, and Momo = drums.
My brain, as it usually does, began racing.
This is completely random and off-the-wall, but I had to share. Back when the ‘Sexy little things’ chaka-uta first leaked, I downloaded it from AHS, only to be greeted with the lovely Megaupload non-bot verification. My jaw dropped. Why?
Why I feel this deserves its own post? I have no idea.
Just…cool story, bro.
Interviewer: “Did you think you had any chance of winning?”
Robert Downey Jr.: “Of course I did. I always do. If I’m not in my own corner, why should anyone else be?”
AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MOST SELF-IMPORTANT BLOGGER OF HER GENERATION:
Yeah. I’d pretty much forgotten about it, too. But “LOVE ~since 1999~” is indeed a half-ballad, half-rap collaboration between the Queen of J-Pop and the King of All Cosmos. The live below really doesn’t do the song justice (Tsunku tones it down A LOT when he’s on camera, here, for once), so seriously, if you get the chance, look up the original song.
Behold (it’s pretty horrible, but they’re both in their respective elements. Unfortunately, those elements are, musically, like combining cheese and chocolate):
Last week I decided to perform a little experiment. Some of you who live in the USA may be at least vaguely aware of those pretentious, oft-times smugly self-satisfied commercials for KGB, a service that allows you to text any question to the number 542542 and receive an answer rapidly. It’s basically a pay-for-Google service for people without internet-enabled phones or friends with internet-enabled phones. It actually sounds ridankulous and I remember predicting the service’s financial collapse within months. But here it is, still around.
Since it IS a people-run Google service (essentially, though if Google itself had helped with development, no doubt it would be a lot smarter), I decided to put it to the test. I have to admit that I was spurred on by an entry to the train-wreck that is FandomSecrets on LJ, in which an anonymous fan claims to have texted “Kataang or Zutara?” to 542542 and received a witty and very human (not to mention very fan-centric) response. Having used KGB, I can now assume that this secret poster either happened to get THE ONLY KGB AGENT EVEN VAGUELY AWARE OF FANDOM, or is lying because it’s the internet.
Question #1:
Who is the best member of Hello!Project? (I figured this would provide great fodder for an article…I never assumed that the entire thing would turn into a THING)
Answer:
“The best member of Hello, is Project Akagumi.”
Um. No. I was understandably put off, because have I mentioned that it costs 99 cents per question? But oh well, I thought, at least it’s hilariously wrong and will make for a good mini-article.
Search up “best member of hello project” on Google and you’ll see how they arrived at this egregiously wrong answer, though. Hell, even I was only vaguely aware of Project Akagumi, myself (as opposed to Akagumi 4, but obviously that is now ancient history as pictures of Danielle Delauney and her Coconuts are now drawing “who the hell is this?” comments on a certain picboard) Considering the members of Project Akagumi, I’ll admit that the amalgam of all girls involved would be a helluva contender, but a strong case can be made for the amalgam made by Buono! or zyx-a if that’s what we’re talking about.
KGB FAIL.
Craving to see whether KGB agents would or could possibly fulfill my J-Pop queries accurately (or at least competently), I decided to try once more:
Question #2:
Who is the prettiest girl in Berryz Koubou?
My answer, fwiw. Though she is not without strong competition. I did say "prettiest", not "sexiest", "cutest", or "most rat-like"
Answer:
“On the World’s Prettiest Women site, Audrina Patridge is today’s prettiest woman. Yesterday Sarah Brightman was honored!”
DO NOT WANT. YOU GOT YOUR PORNY-LOOKING AMERICAN ACTRESS IN MY IDOLS. (also check out my terrible rushed Photoshop wut)
At this point, I got sort of pissed off.
Interjectory Message to KGB:
That’s twice you haven’t actually answered my questions, kgb. That’s a shame.
KGB’s response was to give me one free credit. Obviously they get this stuff a lot. So I wanted to make it count.
Question #3:
What is a “wota”?
Answer:
According to urban dictionary, a wota is a person who, although not Japanese, loves cute teen Japanese pop singers.
Not entirely accurate where etymology is concerned, but definitely true to the Western conceptualization and reclamation of the term.
I’ll give you this one, KBG.
But I will certainly not be asking you any J-Pop questions in the future. However, when I need to settle a bar bet about crappy old movie trivia, I’ll….wait, no I won’t. I have a fucking Blackberry and I’ll just USE GOOGLE. FOR FREE.
What a stupid service.
…I guess sometimes, the story behind a picture is not even worth telling.
Enjoy this.
Half the credit for this goes to Shirow, but trust me, I did all the work.
