I finally return from the wilds of 1) holiday retail preparation (LIKE A BOSS), and 2) being sick, to offer this little side project I’ve been working on ever since being inspired by fellow blogger and awesome person Celestia. Celestia was ambitious enough to videograph and present her TOP 100 H!P SONGS OF ALL TIME, which is just a mind-blowing prospect. Of course everyone is going to have disagreements over opinion, but that is perhaps my favorite thing about the freedom of new media. Opinion, not disagreement. The fact that if you disagree, you can simply turn around make your OWN Top 100 list. You can’t really do that to ‘Rolling Stone’, you can only write a letter saying “really? ‘Abbey Road’ is the best rock album ever? I hope you were all conveniently forgetting at least 20 other albums, some of them other Beatles records,” and hope they might publish it.

But instead of pursuing an H!P tack (too daunting, and my opinion changes every week, based on mood, weather, or the shoes I’m wearing), I’ve decided to do a similar video presentation of The Tops of Ayumi Hamasaki. Who didn’t see that coming? Show of hands.

This was actually no easy task. Sure, I had all the videos, but getting them all converted to the correct format (tons were DVD ISO’s – just for viewing until now, and honestly the only concert DVD of hers I’ve bought since 2008 was PCDL 08-09, so there are even a couple of lq rips). Then, actually making the list was full of painful decisions, personal re-evaluations, and a lot of research. Much like Celestia, I wrote down each of the songs I could think of on little pieces of paper, shuffled them around on the counter at work, and hoped I didn’t sneeze of spray cologne all over my rankings.

But a “Top 100 Ayu Song Ranking” soon became too easy a prospect. I began to think “what about PVs based on PV alone?” and then I thought “what about live performances based on live performance alone?”

Some of you might remember the “Top Ayu Lives” subject being one I wrote on in the very early days of Pink Wota at LJ. At the end of this presentation I’ll go over the old rankings and see where they fit into the new list, if at all. That will be fun, all right.

Keep in mind, this is not a Top 100. I squeezed it down to a Top 25 which will still need to be presented in smaller parts.

A DISCLAIMER: I’m sorry about the crappy Wordpress/HTML wmv embed, but despite my love affair with the artists they produce I am quite ready to punch avex Entertainment in the balls. SQUA IN DA BAWLS. It only took forever to get this video edited, uploaded, and processed, and then I get an AUTOMATIC notification – on YouTube, Veoh, AND Dailymotion (I decided not to try Viddler – the odds were against me) that the video had been yanked. What sort of robots/spiders do they have and how can I use them to benefit MY everyday life? God forbid people in the USA see Ayumi occasionally. God forbid something that promoted an artist is used to PROMOTE that artist.

#25-19 is below the jump, along with some explanations. I did it below a jump because BITCH LOVES TO START AUTOPLAYING EVEN THOUGH I TELL IT NOT TO. It’s going to buffer forever, by the way, so I’d suggest external player.

SQUA IN THE BAWLS, AVEX.

Oh, and here’s a direct download link, in case your computadora does not compute WMV embeds at all.

AND SOME OPINIONS ON THE RANKINGS:

25. This song is one of my little-known faves, and this is the only time it was ever performed live (on record). The song begs to be performed more often in encores and little intimate shows, but since when has Ayumi done that? Not even in 2000, you realize. Most fans are agreed on one thing: Ayu was just not a good live performer until around 2002. Therefore, you’ll see very few performances from before that slip in, here. This one just had to be included for sentimental reasons. Also, more people need to know that this song exists.

24. Almost as a companion opinion to the above, a lot of fans agree that Ayu has not been very good as a live performer since 2007. Also, you’ll see few also-rans from 2007 forward. This is a rare exception, but I have my reasons for including it, which I touched upon in my review of a-nation 09. This performance literally saved the evening for me, which had otherwise been a really long several hours. She’s interacting with the audience, being a total dork, and enjoying every moment. I only wish I could show you the whole thing. It’s powerfully cute.

23. I tried, I really tried, to stay away from songs with too much overt playback (which is the reason why quality performances like “until that Day…” and “1LOVE” (to name just two) didn’t make the cut here…they’re too obviously lip-synched even though the dancing is spectacular. This is a special case. Not only is it “alterna”s only live performance (a crying, crying shame) thus far, but the sheer amount of theatrics here cannot be denied. The concept alone is so beyond the real that I’m thinking more Cirque de Soleil meets Enigma than I’m thinking Ayumi Hamasaki.
22.This performance saved Asia Tour 2007, which was seriously otherwise mediocre at best. My problem was in selecting which clip to include – the opening in which she lays down the vocal law, the middle in which she is cloaked in black, or this, the awesome magic trick with the body double and the huge Judeo-Christian symbolism smacking you in the face (which she has done before and probably will do again, mind). For the magic trick, the real, singing Ayu is only gone from the stage for one minute and a handful of seconds before appearing above the stage on the cross. The crowd is cheering that loudly for a reason – who doesn’t love the magic of theater?

21. “For the lulz” would be selling this performance short. Ayumi had forgotten her lyrics before (“Voyage” is probably the most infamous to inexperienced Ayu fans) during live performances, and continues to slip in and out of a haze in which she only barely remembers what she has written. This particular example is just precious to me, though – the way she troupes through it with a sense of humor and absurdity, even singing lyrics like “I forgot the words…” “It’s something like…la da da….AAAAA!!!!!” and “I completely forgot how it go~~es!” it time to the melody. All of this before collapsing in a fit of laughter like that…pure awesome. Also, this was before her teeth were fixed and between that and the cornrows I love her look.

20. There are so many Ayumi ballads out there, it almost isn’t fair to isolate any. “Carols”, “Rainy Day”, “Happy Ending”, and “Voyage” all had great live performances as well, but few songs give Ayu such an excuse to BELT in her lower register. I love this song, regardless of the ridiculous dress. I mean, that dress is hideous, look at that shit.

19. I didn’t care for Asia Tour 2008. Like, at all. But there was this performance, and there was “(don’t) leave me alone”, both of which only fall to the curse of way-too-obvious playback. However, since “Marionette” goes above and beyond the call of duty for theatrics and persentation here, I’ll give it an “A”.

STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO!