We have reached the end. I am finally able to delete the 10+ GB’s of renders and project files off of my computer, and what I am left with is the hope that maybe just one of you will walk away from this countdown more enlightened, more enlivened, more aware of the love that is Ayumi Hamasaki.

Or maybe I’m just glad that it’s over so I can move on to my End of 2009 Shit, which will not actually begin until I get a taste of Namie’s new album (GET HERE FASTER, PAST<FUTURE!!! FASTER!!), but there is much to say. One thing I will say in relation to Ayumi and the year of 2009 to preface this, my purely subjective Top 5 of her live performance catalog: I regained my abiding love for her this year. In 2008 I was wondering if it was all worth it. She was starting to bore me, to actually embarrass me, and nothing she did seemed different or innovative. In 2009 I took a very deep plunge in learning more about her and examining the way she seems to operate as an artist, and from that perspective the year in Ayumi won me back wholesale. Others may disagree. But that’s just how it is. Regardless, Namie already has an album that blows NEXT LEVEL out of the water (judging solely based on the six tracks we’ve heard thus far), but that’s Namie and she is a different sexy beast altogether.

I’m off to see if someone has posted a TV rip of the Arena Tour 2009 broascast from tbs.ch after this…I hope not to be disappointed, but even if I am, I can come back here an relive the golden age of Ayumi live.

On with the Countdown!

The direct download link, in case your computadora does not compute WMV embeds at all.

AND SOME OPINIONS ON THE RANKINGS:

5. In 2007, this was my #1, probably because it embodied all the wonder and happiness I associated with Ayumi, before I began to appreciate her more as an artist than an idol (and I still refer to her as an “idol”, simply because of the marketing tactics surrounding her and the fact that she is my idol regardless of the standard definition). It still backs up the top 5, because the spectacle and atmosphere is always capable of cheering me up. To retiterate my statement from more than two years ago: THERE ARE EFFING FOUNTAINS. End of discussion.

4. One of those rare acoustic offerings from Ayumi during one of her best tours. This song has always been a vocal standout from the era, but this live performance actually succeeds, with the stripped-down instrumentals, in burying the studio version. It must be hard, as someone who has lost important people in her life, to sing those lyrics with such power. But Ayumi seems to thrive on the emotions that run through her during songs like this, and two others yet to come in this top five.

3. I never really noticed the jaws-dropping power of this performance until shortly after I wrote my original Ayumi Live Top Ten, into which this didn’t even factor. For some reason these songs just seemed so “played out” and “expected” that I never took the time to appreciate the things that make this particular arrangement so legendary. That’s right, legendary. We’re in the top five at this point, and a legend has to have legendary performances. Mix two of her best songs ever, a stellar job at working the crowd, a stage not crowded with a million dancers, camera direction that still, and I hope I’m not the only one who has noticed this, beats an Ayumi tour before or since (AT2003~2004 is simply a beautifully shot event, in every aspect), and the blending of songs that was, at the time, unexpected and marvelous. One of the most inspired “medley” ideas her production staff has ever had. I can’t get enough of this. I wish I could have included more, because the transition back to “SURREAL” is almost tanscendent, as pop music goes.

2. We’ve talked about this before, here and at Dolorous Haze. This performance pretty much helped Ayumi reclaim her past, envelop her back catalog, and show that not only had she grown into it, she was no longer the young woman of 1998. Ten years later, and it is a stark, surprising, and heart-tugging testament to a star’s life and a woman’s personal struggles. As I’ve mentioned before, the rain was a serendipitous blessing which only added weight to the already heavy song.

1. From what I have come to realize will probably remain her most evocative tour for me, personally, comes the song that is most evocative for me, personally. But not only for me. I have showed this specific performance to many people not even minorly interested in J-Pop (my sister, random friends, a past coworker), and even they will be moved and admit that this young woman is a singer to behold, to take seriously. And that is usually before I tell them about the lyrical content. There is train-wreck syndrome somewhere in the general fan-love for this performance, I’m sure: the pained looks on her face, the constant threat of her breaking down which seems no less likely the more times you’ve watched it. Beyond that, though, there is the fact that she gets through it; the quiet, sad but determined strength on her face at the end. The triumph of Ayumi Hamasaki over her demons, musically, right in front of us all. Thanking her for this performance would not be enough.